To Forgive...and Forget

I was hurt by someone I really care for, I was hurt and I was crushed. Our relationship goes up and down for all this time. Sometimes he makes me happy, sometimes he just ignores me. Sometimes I make him happy, other times I'm being cruel. I was very sad about this, I didn't want to hate him, to feel hurt because of him so I chosed to forget than to forgive. Then, tonight when I was about to sleep I read the bible and found out that today's reading is John 8:1-11 and it's my favorite. There's a story related to this reading in my Ziarah Batin book and with it comes the advice like this: "Anger, hatred, and harrasment harden our hearts. Are we willing to forgive those who hurt us for we ourselves have always been forgiven by God? Forgiveness... heals a wounded heart." Simple words with deep meaning and it touched my heart. Then I realized, that I should forgive him first, then slowly as day goes by I'd forget all the hurt that saddens me. It's not easy, to tell the truth. But we're all human, we make mistakes, we learn from our mistakes, but one should never forget that love that we have to other people is the willingness to forgive for every hurtful thing they've done to us. I've been hurt, but now I can say that I'm willing to forgive him and one day I'd forget all the things that caused me pain. May God bless us for all the hurt we feel and for all the willingness to forgive.

When the Journey Ends....

I read today's newspaper it tells about the death of Sheikh Ahmed Yassin, the founder and spiritual leader of Hamas who was killed by Israeli missiles right after he stepped out of a mosque after doing his morning prayer. One of the missile killed him in advance. Let's put aside the conflict between Israel and Palestine for a while cos it has happened for such a long time it'll take ages to know the source of conflict between two nations. What I'm going to say is that I think it was cruel and wrong to kill someone in front of a holy building, not to mention that he had just finished doing his prayer. It doesn't make any sense for me. Then again, killing never makes sense for anybody. I often wonder, some ppl are so afraid of death. I wonder what is it that make us so afraid of it? Afraid of not being able to see the world again? Afraid of losing important things in our life? Afraid of not being able to have what we had planned to have? Afraid of knowing the fact that we're going to die? Then again, when life ends with death, what's left for us? Nothing. Birth and death, they are a process that everyone will eventually have. We were born into this world without taking anything from our previous life so it is that happens when we leave this world we don't take anything either. From ashes to ashes, dust to dust. People come and go and they left their footprints in your heart. I didn't know what death was like until my grandpa died when I was 15. It was a great shock for me. I never thought that this would eventually happen to us, to have someone you love left you forever. It was like a routine, that he went to Jakarta and he'd come home soon, turning on his AC and watched tennis matches. That thought stayed for few days until it hit me suddenly, showing me the fact that he'd never come back. You might feel so sad for days but to know the fact that it happens to everyone makes you realize that in life, your journey will eventually ends someday. There is fate: if it's gonna happen, it's gonna happen; you can't do anything about it. Each life is fated to have it's own journey. That's why you have to live your life to the fullest.

Some Respect to Pay

The pressure is up for two candidates of the future president of the USA. Who will win the election, Bush or Kerry? I just love reading articles about their campaigns, they're really supportive. When Kerry won his Super Tuesday Bush congratulated him in person. And what is good from them is that they don't stab from the back. And no corruptions. I found a funny comment about the two candidates that shows how different the two of them. According to German Stern magazine, Bush, likes to cite from the bible, Kerry reads Pablo Neruda (impressive...); Bush reads local novels (you know, when I read that the first thing that came to my mind was he read Danielle Steel's novels hahaha remember, America reads Danielle Steels), Kerry loves Shakespeare; Bush never reads newspapers and proud of it (you what?!), Kerry reads Le Monde (impressive impressive). Oh Laura, we're really worried about George hahaha!!! I've just found out from Ireng today that there is a chance The Passion of The Christ is not going to be played on cinemas. I knew it! I knew it! You'd like to know the reasons if it turns out to be true? Well, 1. Too sadistic. Oh come on, I don't believe it! I bet Kill Bill is twice more gory and sadistic than this movie. Besides, Indonesian loves sadistic things, what do you have to be afraid at? Pisses me off. 2.The most ridiculous one, that the movie puts Jews in a very bad position (cos they were the ones who wanted Him to be crossed. bottom line is that, they were the ones who were responsible for His death. The Jews protested but whatcha gonna do with that? It's obviously a true story. It can't be made up for some reasons!) oh give me a break, since when this country took a great deal of defending the Jews or Israel? Puhleeesss.... This is really not fair. I'm afraid the reason why Prince of Egypt couldn't be played on cinemas happen to this movie too. An ulema thinks that Prince of Egypt's story disgraces a belief. Talk about toleration and respect between religions, eh? *sigh* I really hope this movie could be played. I want to watch it in the cinema. But most of all, I want this country to have some respect in freedom of holding a belief.

Lessons...Learnt.

I got important lessons to learn today : 1.when you read a book, don't get carried away by your curiousity to know the ending of the story. It'll ruin everything! I borrowed an interesting book and in the middle of reading it I flipped to the last pages to read the ending and it spoiled everything, I almost lost my mood in continuing my reading. 2. Don't do something that makes someone uncomfortable. You've done it the first time, you've gone through the second time so don't do it again! 3.Discipline is the key word. Without it, you won't accomplish anything. To make yourself do everything you've planned for the day is hard when you can be easily lured. So once again, discipline, discipline, discipline yourself. It's the key word!

If it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be

Today is the last day of my mid-exam! I've just finished my PO exam and I feel great for having done it. Well, I still have another test that is on Sat but it's Logika and I've done the quiz before so I'm sure I can brush up on it tomorrow, no need to hurry. Atit asked me to join her choir for Easter and I agreed. I like singing and I haven't sung in a choir since my senior year on HS so when I first got started I was so nervous and couldn't reach the high note. But for the 2nd rehearsal, I feel that it's getting better now. I regain the joy of singing in a choir again, it's all good ;) Sometimes...things in life happen unexpectedly. That is what you think. But I believe all things that happened to you meant to happen for your own good. You may wonder why God is being unfair in your life, not to grant what you wish for, etc. but I tell you, He's doing it to help you from being hurt, to keep you away from being dissapointed, to save your future! He has a plan for you and the plan is beautiful so don't you ever ruin it, don't you ever take the wrong path, don't you ever feel that He wasn't there to hear for your pledge. Always listen to Him, He knows what's good for you. Always be glad and be blessed for everything He has given to you no matter how bad it is. Remember, He made everything beautiful in its time. Tuhan membuat segala sesuatu indah tepat pada waktunya. It always happens to me, and I'm sure it happens to all of us too.