It's good to type something on this blog again. I haven't done this thing for more than a year now. A lot of things have happened. I've graduated. I've landed a job. I'm still dating the same guy I fell in love with a year ago. Now that I am working, I can't find the time to type and pour everything that's on my mind on this blog again. I.am.just.too.busy. It's good to know that today's Sunday and tomorrow is still a holiday!!! Yay! Since I landed a job in a banking industry, I rarely have time for myself. Sometimes...I miss those happy campus days I had in Bandung. What a free person I was in Bandung... now I'm a 8 to 5 slave hahaha!!!
A lot of things have happened. Right now I'm still struggling with my job. I signed a-3-year-contract with this bank and until now I'm still adapting. I know this struggle will be over. I know I have to face this. But somehow...as human, we are weak and living in this instant world we want to know and to have everything instantly. But life never goes your way...
It goes God's way and we should follow Him although it may against our will for the time being, we have to know that it's for our best.
Sunday, April 09, 2006
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
Beautiful in its Time
She's back with a post
The writer asks the Lord:
Oh Lord, why for years and for so many times you let me walk with the wrong person?
Don’t you know that it only breaks our hearts?
Don’t you know that it only ruins our friendships?
Don’t you know that it only brings hurt in hearts? Doubts in mind?
And don’t you know it only adds more anguish for both sides?
And the Lord answers:
Very well then, My child, for some years I will let you walk alone by yourself. There will be people who become your friends and acquaintances, but none of them will be your partner.
The writer asks again:
Why oh Lord, you let me walk alone by myself without a partner?
Can’t you see that I’m so lonesome?
Can’t you see that the love you planted in me withers and dies?
Can’t you see that I’m waiting patiently for the fulfillment of your promise?
Can’t you see that the love you keep in my heart makes me weak and sad everyday?
The Lord answers:
My precious child, I let all of these happen in your life so that you will understand yourself
So that you will know your purpose of living
So that you will realize what’s the most important in your life
And at the time you realize it, you’d know what kind of character that will suitable for your partner.
It doesn’t lie in good looks, beautiful voices, smooth skins, beautiful smiles, but it lies in the way he treats you, the way he respects you, the way he loves you for who you are.
You will be there when he needs you, and he will help you when you’re in trouble
You will soothe him in his times of sadness and he will make you laugh when you are sad
You will be so annoyed at him when you’re tired, but his patience will make you smile again
He too, will be annoyed at you when he’s tired, but your sincerity will erase it
And the most important thing is, as much as you know yourself, you will also know and understand your partner
The next task you should do is to learn to know him patiently
Remember that he is also my creation
Don’t you ever ask about his past, all the things that he has gone through, for I let that happen so that he will understand himself
All of this I tell to you so that you will give thanks to me when you find him
Believe oh my child, that I created him for you
Didn’t I let you walk with wrong partners for so many times?
Didn’t I let you walk alone by yourself for years?
Have you forgotten that I make things beautiful in its time?
I tell you this because I am your Lord, who created you and who loves you more than anything
The writer says to the Lord:
Thank you, Lord for now I have understood the way You've chosen to me. Laudamus Te!
(I got this from someone's blog. I think it's very good. It's written in bahasa so I tried to translate it.)
The writer asks the Lord:
Oh Lord, why for years and for so many times you let me walk with the wrong person?
Don’t you know that it only breaks our hearts?
Don’t you know that it only ruins our friendships?
Don’t you know that it only brings hurt in hearts? Doubts in mind?
And don’t you know it only adds more anguish for both sides?
And the Lord answers:
Very well then, My child, for some years I will let you walk alone by yourself. There will be people who become your friends and acquaintances, but none of them will be your partner.
The writer asks again:
Why oh Lord, you let me walk alone by myself without a partner?
Can’t you see that I’m so lonesome?
Can’t you see that the love you planted in me withers and dies?
Can’t you see that I’m waiting patiently for the fulfillment of your promise?
Can’t you see that the love you keep in my heart makes me weak and sad everyday?
The Lord answers:
My precious child, I let all of these happen in your life so that you will understand yourself
So that you will know your purpose of living
So that you will realize what’s the most important in your life
And at the time you realize it, you’d know what kind of character that will suitable for your partner.
It doesn’t lie in good looks, beautiful voices, smooth skins, beautiful smiles, but it lies in the way he treats you, the way he respects you, the way he loves you for who you are.
You will be there when he needs you, and he will help you when you’re in trouble
You will soothe him in his times of sadness and he will make you laugh when you are sad
You will be so annoyed at him when you’re tired, but his patience will make you smile again
He too, will be annoyed at you when he’s tired, but your sincerity will erase it
And the most important thing is, as much as you know yourself, you will also know and understand your partner
The next task you should do is to learn to know him patiently
Remember that he is also my creation
Don’t you ever ask about his past, all the things that he has gone through, for I let that happen so that he will understand himself
All of this I tell to you so that you will give thanks to me when you find him
Believe oh my child, that I created him for you
Didn’t I let you walk with wrong partners for so many times?
Didn’t I let you walk alone by yourself for years?
Have you forgotten that I make things beautiful in its time?
I tell you this because I am your Lord, who created you and who loves you more than anything
The writer says to the Lord:
Thank you, Lord for now I have understood the way You've chosen to me. Laudamus Te!
(I got this from someone's blog. I think it's very good. It's written in bahasa so I tried to translate it.)
Monday, December 20, 2004
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
A Broken Heart Can't be That Bad
Hold on little girl
Show me what he's done to you
Stand up little girl
A broken heart can't be that bad
It wasn't that bad, actually. Although you'd always feel the same whenever you experience it. The shock, the hurt, the unanswered questions, the tears...oh those gloomy days of mine! I'm so glad it has over now. I have to admit it wasn't easy to just throw out things that was once a part of you. I tried to find people who have gone through this and hoped to learn from them. I browsed xanga mostly. And I found that some people have been in worst situations than mine. Some just couldn't get out of the bed every morning because the thought of breaking up is killing them. Some thought of committing suicide. Some just kept on feeling devastated. But they all came to one point: that they think they have to stop this and moving on with their lives. Having known the people who have gone through this and how they tried to move on as each day goes by, trying to pick up the pieces and be a new person they can be, made you feel that you were not alone in dealing with this. So I moved to the next step: how to not to think of him. Because you know the thought kills. I tried to find ways to make me forget him:
I asked for some girls opinion and they gave me the Cosmo-magz-knows-it-best answer, which I think it's such a bullshit. Cosmo never works for me. In fact, I think Cosmo knows nothing. Next, please.
Eating? Some girls just binge whenever the thought of it comes but I didn't think it'd work for me. Next, please!
Shop till you drop? Oh no, this one is just pathetic. It won't help. You shopped, you went broke, and you still got the heartache. Next!
Cut your hair, dye it, bleach it, whatever! Make yourself 'new'! It won't work for me, either. It's just that you think by cutting you hair for few inches and then suddenly the memories of him has been erased from your mind. What a lame. Next!!
....in the end, I ran out of Next, please!
Then came the days of sleepless nights, the silent cry in the nights, the questions "Why, God?", and the emotions that went up and down (tell ya, worst than PMS). I thought I was doing fine, that it was a phase I had to go through and eventually, I'd be 'normal' again. But I was wrong. My friends started to look at me differently, they felt I had changed and they missed the old me.
So I took the short cut to heal myself. Instead of finding the solution from the outside, I looked from the inside. And at that moment I stopped thinking of him. I started to think of me. Instead of trying to find ways to forget him I tried to find the real me. And I have found her, the one I want to be. Instead of dwelling in the sadness I decided to put all my energy in my seminar, my papers, my thesis and they all helped me to find the person I am today. At least I look at myself differently now. And I know I can be strong whenever the same thing happens again. I find the assurance in myself. I got up and left the pieces behind me. I won't be needing those anymore.
Anyway, being single ROCKS!
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