Merry Christmas, everybody!

I'm going home this morning to my hometown!

Have a Wonderful Christmas!

A Broken Heart Can't be That Bad

Hold on little girl
Show me what he's done to you
Stand up little girl
A broken heart can't be that bad
It wasn't that bad, actually. Although you'd always feel the same whenever you experience it. The shock, the hurt, the unanswered questions, the tears...oh those gloomy days of mine! I'm so glad it has over now. I have to admit it wasn't easy to just throw out things that was once a part of you. I tried to find people who have gone through this and hoped to learn from them. I browsed xanga mostly. And I found that some people have been in worst situations than mine. Some just couldn't get out of the bed every morning because the thought of breaking up is killing them. Some thought of committing suicide. Some just kept on feeling devastated. But they all came to one point: that they think they have to stop this and moving on with their lives. Having known the people who have gone through this and how they tried to move on as each day goes by, trying to pick up the pieces and be a new person they can be, made you feel that you were not alone in dealing with this. So I moved to the next step: how to not to think of him. Because you know the thought kills. I tried to find ways to make me forget him:
I asked for some girls opinion and they gave me the Cosmo-magz-knows-it-best answer, which I think it's such a bullshit. Cosmo never works for me. In fact, I think Cosmo knows nothing. Next, please.
Eating? Some girls just binge whenever the thought of it comes but I didn't think it'd work for me. Next, please!
Shop till you drop? Oh no, this one is just pathetic. It won't help. You shopped, you went broke, and you still got the heartache. Next!
Cut your hair, dye it, bleach it, whatever! Make yourself 'new'! It won't work for me, either. It's just that you think by cutting you hair for few inches and then suddenly the memories of him has been erased from your mind. What a lame. Next!!
....in the end, I ran out of Next, please!
Then came the days of sleepless nights, the silent cry in the nights, the questions "Why, God?", and the emotions that went up and down (tell ya, worst than PMS). I thought I was doing fine, that it was a phase I had to go through and eventually, I'd be 'normal' again. But I was wrong. My friends started to look at me differently, they felt I had changed and they missed the old me.
So I took the short cut to heal myself. Instead of finding the solution from the outside, I looked from the inside. And at that moment I stopped thinking of him. I started to think of me. Instead of trying to find ways to forget him I tried to find the real me. And I have found her, the one I want to be. Instead of dwelling in the sadness I decided to put all my energy in my seminar, my papers, my thesis and they all helped me to find the person I am today. At least I look at myself differently now. And I know I can be strong whenever the same thing happens again. I find the assurance in myself. I got up and left the pieces behind me. I won't be needing those anymore.
Anyway, being single ROCKS!