Part 1

So you're getting married, huh?

Congratulations. Now you can welcome the headache.

Aduh....pusinggg!!! Ngurusin hal kayak ginian tuh ribet banget!! I've lost the excitement! Really, I can't think how a girl can get excited from the very first day she got engaged until the day she said her wedding vow! I have lost the excitement....

First, it was this ooohs and ahhhs I am so happy I am getting married, nowdays it turns out to be like, "Let's get these things done. Quickly!" But they say you have to take it easy in planning your wedding, or else you'd be a bridezilla on your wedding day. Uh, scary. That would ruin everything.

I against using wedding planner, because I want to plan my own wedding. So far, I've booked the venue, the photographer for pre-wedding and wedding day, the make-up artist, the wedding singer, the decorator, the caterer, but I haven't found my wedding gown yet.

High Fidelity

My mum once told me that love can be manipulated, but fidelity cannot.
One can lie to you when he says that he loves you, but one can't lie when he's not being faithful....It just happens to show....

Bangkok, Bangkok

I am going to Bangkok. Oh yes, thank you God, I don't even have to pay anything to get there. It's not the place that gets me excited, it's the opportunity to do the trip with my friends that is.
A lot of people have told me how nice and cheap the place is, but what I would like to do most when I am in Bangkok is:

- watch Thai Girl Show (hehehehehe)
*in BSD branch*
BMR : Kamu jadi ke Bangkok, kan, Di?
Me : Iya, Pak! Tar kita jadi nonton Thai Girl show kan rame2?
BMR : Hush, kamu jangan keras-keras donk, tar ketahuan ama istri saya!
Both : Haha!
Wife : *senyum-senyum ga jelas*

- watch Thai boxing match

- get a Thai massage....hmmm......hmmm....mmmm.....

Long Time No Blog

It's been a while!!
Can I say that it has almost been two years I hybernated? I got way too busy with my work that I forgot my blog. Believe me, I even forgot my user id and password! Ha ha.
Nevermind, it's good to get back on track again. Think I will enjoy blogging? Hmmm actually I do have some sites to be considered. I've already have my xanga, I have multiply...what's the best site for blogging?
Any advice?

I think my English is deteriorating...

It's good to type something on this blog again. I haven't done this thing for more than a year now. A lot of things have happened. I've graduated. I've landed a job. I'm still dating the same guy I fell in love with a year ago. Now that I am working, I can't find the time to type and pour everything that's on my mind on this blog again. I.am.just.too.busy. It's good to know that today's Sunday and tomorrow is still a holiday!!! Yay! Since I landed a job in a banking industry, I rarely have time for myself. Sometimes...I miss those happy campus days I had in Bandung. What a free person I was in Bandung... now I'm a 8 to 5 slave hahaha!!!

A lot of things have happened. Right now I'm still struggling with my job. I signed a-3-year-contract with this bank and until now I'm still adapting. I know this struggle will be over. I know I have to face this. But somehow...as human, we are weak and living in this instant world we want to know and to have everything instantly. But life never goes your way...

It goes God's way and we should follow Him although it may against our will for the time being, we have to know that it's for our best.

Beautiful in its Time

She's back with a post

The writer asks the Lord:
Oh Lord, why for years and for so many times you let me walk with the wrong person?
Don’t you know that it only breaks our hearts?
Don’t you know that it only ruins our friendships?
Don’t you know that it only brings hurt in hearts? Doubts in mind?
And don’t you know it only adds more anguish for both sides?

And the Lord answers:
Very well then, My child, for some years I will let you walk alone by yourself. There will be people who become your friends and acquaintances, but none of them will be your partner.

The writer asks again:
Why oh Lord, you let me walk alone by myself without a partner?
Can’t you see that I’m so lonesome?
Can’t you see that the love you planted in me withers and dies?
Can’t you see that I’m waiting patiently for the fulfillment of your promise?
Can’t you see that the love you keep in my heart makes me weak and sad everyday?

The Lord answers:
My precious child, I let all of these happen in your life so that you will understand yourself
So that you will know your purpose of living
So that you will realize what’s the most important in your life
And at the time you realize it, you’d know what kind of character that will suitable for your partner.
It doesn’t lie in good looks, beautiful voices, smooth skins, beautiful smiles, but it lies in the way he treats you, the way he respects you, the way he loves you for who you are.

You will be there when he needs you, and he will help you when you’re in trouble
You will soothe him in his times of sadness and he will make you laugh when you are sad
You will be so annoyed at him when you’re tired, but his patience will make you smile again
He too, will be annoyed at you when he’s tired, but your sincerity will erase it
And the most important thing is, as much as you know yourself, you will also know and understand your partner
The next task you should do is to learn to know him patiently

Remember that he is also my creation
Don’t you ever ask about his past, all the things that he has gone through, for I let that happen so that he will understand himself
All of this I tell to you so that you will give thanks to me when you find him

Believe oh my child, that I created him for you
Didn’t I let you walk with wrong partners for so many times?
Didn’t I let you walk alone by yourself for years?
Have you forgotten that I make things beautiful in its time?
I tell you this because I am your Lord, who created you and who loves you more than anything

The writer says to the Lord:
Thank you, Lord for now I have understood the way You've chosen to me. Laudamus Te!

(I got this from someone's blog. I think it's very good. It's written in bahasa so I tried to translate it.)

Merry Christmas, everybody!

I'm going home this morning to my hometown!

Have a Wonderful Christmas!

A Broken Heart Can't be That Bad

Hold on little girl
Show me what he's done to you
Stand up little girl
A broken heart can't be that bad
It wasn't that bad, actually. Although you'd always feel the same whenever you experience it. The shock, the hurt, the unanswered questions, the tears...oh those gloomy days of mine! I'm so glad it has over now. I have to admit it wasn't easy to just throw out things that was once a part of you. I tried to find people who have gone through this and hoped to learn from them. I browsed xanga mostly. And I found that some people have been in worst situations than mine. Some just couldn't get out of the bed every morning because the thought of breaking up is killing them. Some thought of committing suicide. Some just kept on feeling devastated. But they all came to one point: that they think they have to stop this and moving on with their lives. Having known the people who have gone through this and how they tried to move on as each day goes by, trying to pick up the pieces and be a new person they can be, made you feel that you were not alone in dealing with this. So I moved to the next step: how to not to think of him. Because you know the thought kills. I tried to find ways to make me forget him:
I asked for some girls opinion and they gave me the Cosmo-magz-knows-it-best answer, which I think it's such a bullshit. Cosmo never works for me. In fact, I think Cosmo knows nothing. Next, please.
Eating? Some girls just binge whenever the thought of it comes but I didn't think it'd work for me. Next, please!
Shop till you drop? Oh no, this one is just pathetic. It won't help. You shopped, you went broke, and you still got the heartache. Next!
Cut your hair, dye it, bleach it, whatever! Make yourself 'new'! It won't work for me, either. It's just that you think by cutting you hair for few inches and then suddenly the memories of him has been erased from your mind. What a lame. Next!!
....in the end, I ran out of Next, please!
Then came the days of sleepless nights, the silent cry in the nights, the questions "Why, God?", and the emotions that went up and down (tell ya, worst than PMS). I thought I was doing fine, that it was a phase I had to go through and eventually, I'd be 'normal' again. But I was wrong. My friends started to look at me differently, they felt I had changed and they missed the old me.
So I took the short cut to heal myself. Instead of finding the solution from the outside, I looked from the inside. And at that moment I stopped thinking of him. I started to think of me. Instead of trying to find ways to forget him I tried to find the real me. And I have found her, the one I want to be. Instead of dwelling in the sadness I decided to put all my energy in my seminar, my papers, my thesis and they all helped me to find the person I am today. At least I look at myself differently now. And I know I can be strong whenever the same thing happens again. I find the assurance in myself. I got up and left the pieces behind me. I won't be needing those anymore.
Anyway, being single ROCKS!

Is Jessica Simpson really a dumb girl?

Or she just plays it dumb?

Does she think that her dumbness (if she really is dumb) sells?

Happy Birthday, You're Aging Now

Me: Your birthday is coming
Friend: I know! Don't remind me of that! Gosh, I'm old!!!
Me: What's so wrong with getting old?
A lot of people always remark this, 'gosh I'm old' just because the numbers of their age have changed. X + 1 = OLD. A dreadful formula. I don't think there's any wrong with being old and aging. It's a process everybody must go through in her life. But nowadays, in our society, the word 'aging' is such a dread for them. I know lots of people hate to see those wrinkles on their face, but why don't you let those anti-wrinkle creams produced by those giant cosmetic companies do their job, although, to tell you the truth, they can't really erase your wrinkles and that means they can't really erase your worries either. Let's talk about the fear that even anti-wrinkle creams can't solve it for you. The fact that you, despite all those creams, will get old, someday. The fact of seeing that wrinkles scares you, so you run for botox, because you think it can help you. You run away from the fact that everybody gets old as years go by.
Isn't it such a vain, to run away from reality, to think that botox can save you? (your age) + 1 is not about looking less attactive because of the wrinkles you have, it's about being mature, loving the the ups and downs in your life and most of all being the real person you want to be. I don't know about other people, but I myself always think that the best that you can do in dealing with this is to age gracefully. I guess I don't have that much vanity. As Nicole Kidman said about her turning 40 in a few years,"You can fight things in life, or you can move into them with grace."
Finally, after giving him a session full of yapping, he gave in and said : I promise to age gracefully.
And he turns 23 today. Happy birthday, you're aging now. Enjoy!

Does she look like...someone you know?

I often heard this from someone I've just met.
"I have a classmate who looks like u..sure u're not in my school?"
"You know, you look like someone I know..."
"Gosh, you look just like my friend!"
"Are you one of my students? I got one who looks just like you."
"I think we've met before. Your face looks familiar to me."
I swear, I often heard it from people that it made me wonder 'Do you? Does she? What does she lool like, actually?" cos I'd like to know. First, you might thought that it was some pick up lines to break the ice so that converstation can go smooth, but I often heard it from women.... I've heard it more than 20 times and it still surprises me!
I wonder if there's really someone who looks just like you. And what would you do if one day you bump into each other...wouldn't it be weird? But, if it ever happens to me at least it has proven the words people always say to me...that there is someone who looks just like me, and I, this 'someone else's twin' would be glad to meet someone who looks just like her, other than her own sister.
Just a curiosity. *wink*

Hi-Fi

Some women take pleasure in having affairs with someone else's husbands and (good grief!) they still proud of it. I will only discuss about the women, because I can never know the exact reason a husband can be unfaithful to his wife. Perhaps men know the reason why husbands cheat on their wifes, and women can only guess. So, back to the topic, some women are proud of it, as if they had won some competition to know who's good and who's not. But why must some proud of it? And why some still want to tell the wife about it? And in the end, if a wife has to encounter such situation, would she give her family up? God only knows whether the woman tells lies or the truth.

There is a story that Marilyn Monroe once called Mrs. Kennedy in the White House to tell her she was having an affair with the president. Supposedly Marilyn asked what Jackie thought about the possibility of Marilyn marrying Kennedy, and the response was: "Marilyn, you'll marry Jack, that's great, and you'll move into the White House and you'll assume the responsibilities of first lady, and I'll move out and you'll have all the problems." And this is what Victoria Beckham said when she found out that her former beauty therapist told the media that she slept with her husband twice when Vic left to England : "I'm going to destroy that ugly, lying cow for what she’s done to me and my family. I’m sick and tired of people trying to make money out of us. That girl is going to get what’s coming to her – I’ll bring her down." I'll bring her down? That's what she calls GIRL POWER =p
Their reactions may differ, but I know they all want for the same thing.

It takes a strong woman to save her marriage & her family.

Women are Complicated?

Some guys just could never understand....

I just can't believe it when I see Kate Winslet on the cover of Bazaar this October. Look how different she is! She's slim and toned and svelte! Where has the old Kate gone? I like her a lot when she played in Titanic and gained weight and still proud of her body. I love that self-esteem and self-appreciation like "This is me and I'm real." The whole attitute of 'I don't care with myself being called fat by people as long as I'm healthy.' makes other people think that there is another thing that you should really care for instead of having a skinny body. And now, being slim and happy she is, she admits in Bazaar that the biggest fashion mistake she ever made is when she attented Golden Globe awards in 1998 and wearing a dress which made her look 'bad'. She says," I remember everyone saying, 'Oh, it looks great, and your figure looks amazing.' And I didn't look amazing at all. They should have put me in a tent - I'd be better off." ? I think she looked great in that green dress. And I thought she was happy having that body at that time?
I think Winslet is just an example that every now and then women hate being fat. It's like a disease for us all. And it happens to every woman in every shapes. Even the skinniest ones starve themselves. She is her own critic to her own body. I don't like it when I see a woman starving herself (especially the skinny one!), skipping breakfast and dinner and only have lettuce for her lunch or only eat 1/4 portion of her meal and later shove it to her boyfriend. I just don't understand those skinny women who absolutely aware that they have the body most women envy but still wanting (and starving) to have the body of those models in glossy magazines. Uh, hello? They don't even have boobs! Except for Giselle Bundchen or Fernanda Tavares.
The point is that, no matter what shape you have, as long as you're in good health, that's the most important. I don't believe in diets. I would rather doing exercises to shed some pounds than starving myself and then pass out on my way to campus. I know sometimes it's hard for some women to love her own body, most of us prefer to whine about it. But when you learn to love it, people will begin to look at you in different way and believe me, would it be great to have a healthy body instead of slim but weak one?
So don't judge yourself too hard and start going to the gym now!

A Fortune Teller Told My Mum

Today when I was ironing my shirts (ideas often come up in those odd moments) I realized how people just love asking fortune-tellers about their future. I don't believe in fortune-telling although some people still go to fortune-tellers to 'consult' sometimes. I'm talking about those fortune-tellers who use cards, books, etc to see your future. The birth of a child, the death of someone, business, marriage, career, love and many more. In fact, you can ask EVERYTHING!
My mum once went to one. I have no idea what drove her to do that. I myself really against her going to a fortune teller and I against her more when I found out that she was asking about my future to that fortune teller! Not only my future but it was also about my past. Some reincarnation. And what did my mum ask about? "I'd love to know about her love life." What?! You can't just believe in this thing. I always doubt the accuracy.
Sometimes I wonder, are what their sayings true? Are they really gifted to see someone else's future? When you go to a fortune-teller and he/she tells you about your future and when his/her prediction is right and it does happen to you one day, will you still believe in fortune-teller? My friends has gone to many fortune-tellers and some of them did say the same thing, but some said the contradicts. Which one to believe? It's up to her, which sayings would she like to believe? For me, going to fortune-teller is useless, when it's good, you keep hoping for it to happen, when it's bad, it haunts you forever. The reason why I don't believe in fortune-tellers is it's God and God only who knows what my future is like. And besides, your life is not written in a book, or cards, or some crystal balls. One thing for sure, if you ever go there, it could change the way you see your life, right at that moment when the fortune-teller finishes his/her sentences.

Women just love shopping. And it has been proven. Shopping may makes them expert in some kind of ways, like my mum she's an expert in haggling. I could never understand the knowledge she has in setting the right price and haggling and haggling and haggling until finally the seller sighs and says,"Okay, go take it." She seems to know the real price. Is it some trick she knows? Some charms she has? Whatever it is, I consider it a skill most women have but me. I can't haggle. This skill which I don't posses has put me in difficult moments when I have to make a decision for the good of the seller and me (and my wallet). The rule is that you set lower price, at least 50% lower from normal price, believe me I have tried all the tricks, I've watched how my mum did it, but I'll always be the defeated one. You know the feeling of buying something cheap (or at least that's what you think) until somebody hurt you with her words saying,"I have that too, but it costs less than yours. (yay!)" (that happens to mum) or when you're in a situation where you just want it desperately but the shop owner thinks "You gotta be kidding!" with the price you set (this happens to me).
My opinion is that you give me the price and I'll give you my decision. If I think I can afford it, I'll take it. But if I think it's too expensive or cost exceeds benefit then forget about it. This tug-o-war kind of thing is really not my game. I am a Leo and I've met the other Leos who think the same way too! At last, I find a proof that astrological sign does tell you some truth ;p
Maybe...some women are just born with it. What about women who were born without it? Answer : They can go to shops that hang the SALE sign. For less-skillful ones like me, that's pretty fair.

"What should you do so that you can become a faithful person?"
"You don't do anything. Faith itself will come to you. Faith is already in you, but your conceit heart won't let you admit that you have it, you ask too many questions, you make simple things look difficult. The fact is that, you're just too afraid. You have to believe, then what is meant to come will come to you eventually."
-the conversation of a grandma and a priest-
Va' dove ti porta il cuore (Follow Your Heart) by Susanna Tamaro

Don’t compromise yourself. YOU are all you’ve got.

-Janis Joplin

It's a Singing Contest!!!

So the final of Indonesian Idol is tonight, the day (almost) everyone has been hoping for to see the (true) winner. There's a lot of controversy on the first Idol ever held in here. Mostly is about one of the finalists, Delon. With his cute face and mediocre voice he has become an idol. Lots of people hate him, lots of people like him. But, everybody, listen up, THIS IS A SINGING CONTEST!!! Everybody shouldn't be subjective in this. You should choose your idol according to her/his voice, not her/his face. Talent should never outrank face. But sadly, people in here always choose the winner subjectively. Look at Veri, he was chosen as the winner of Akademi Fantasi Indosiar just because he comes from a poor family. And I'm afraid it will happen again to the Idol contest. I don't fancy Delon and Joy so I won't send any sms or dial the premium call number. I fancy Helena, but she didn't make it to the grand final. Joy has the talent, Delon has the face and I can see that everybody puts lots of pressure on him because of that. I read my friendster bulletin and found out that they hate him because they think he can't sing and that he gets to the grand final with the help of his good-looking face. One guy even wrote : 'He doesn't have a beautiful voice and only chicks vote for him, how could they fall for his chinese face? and this guy wrote again in bracket: (I'm being racist, but who cares?). And I read another stupid comment : If Delon gets to be the winner, Indonesia will be in a riot. Tsk tsk tsk, how exaggerating. What a drama.
Never mind with his face! This is a singing contest, one should not hate/like him because he's cute. It's not his fault if he's born chinese and cute. I don't know who's going to be the winner and I can't predict who but I do hope that people don't choose their own winner subjectively, besides it's a singing contest. You should choose objectively based on the finalists' talent, not for her/his looks. Let the best one win. I hope everybody learn this.

Love is...

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." Rebecca - age 8

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4
"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." Karl - age 5
"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs." Chrissy - age 6
"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." Terri - age 4
"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." Danny - age 7
"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss." Emily - age 8
"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen," Bobby - age 7
"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate," Nikka - age 6
"There are two kinds of love. Our love. God's love but God makes both kinds of them." Jenny - age 8
"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." Noelle - age 7
"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." Tommy - age 6
"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore," Cindy - age 8
"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night." Clare - age 6
"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken." Elaine-age 5
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford." Chris - age 7
"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day." Mary Ann - age 4
"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." Lauren - age 4
"When you love somebody, your eye lashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." Karen - age 7
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross." Mark - age 6
"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget," Jessica - age 8

Wow! Isn't it amazing how little kids think about love so purely? Their opinions about love are so cute.